I'm working on some milestone cards right now. Getting back to illustrating has been difficult.
I used to hand draw everything, scan it, and then go over it with so many changes in illustrator. Looking back at some of my before work, I don't know how I actually drew it, or even thoguht of the idea.
It feels like my head is blank. No ideas. No inspiration.

I'm really struggling, and it feels horrible. I signed up to some online doodling/sketchbook courses, but I feel like I'm not actually getting anywhere. The pen and pad used to be my favorite tool and I filled my sketchbook up within a week, now I have the same pad for... It's embarrassing to say how long.


I can't remember what the trick, or secret is. I feel like I'm missing out on something.
I try to go through pinterest and save some of my favorite pictures, trying to figure out why I like it so much, what inspires me, the colors, but I truly feel like I'm at a dead end.

I'm going to try a weekly drawing challenge, hopefully that can help me actually sit and draw/sketch/doodle.
Hopefully that will help bring back my creativity and confidence in what I do.
This feeling really stinks :-/

Life doesn't always go as planned.
For some people, things just magically always fall in plcae for them, for others, it's always an uphill struggle. Thankfully, I'm not there. Life for me is just sometimes... Trying.
It's not easy.
I've always struggled with my career, I'm not even sure I got into the arty world for the right reasons. I always wanted to be a psychiatrist. Something happened along the way and played around with my head, and I decided I wanted to direct video clips. Or at least a soundtrack editor. I think Pulp Fiction made that decision really easy for me to make.
But things happened, and I found myself sending out resumes to just any graphic designer job, hoping something would catch. I was ready to start from zero, because it was supposed to be temporary. Until I got my life together.
But it caught. And I was good at what I did. And I moved up. I found myself as a textile designer, product manager. And I loved what I was doing, but it became temporary, not because I wanted to. Life happens. People have other plans for you.
And then this job happened. And I am as far away from going back to textiles and designing as Pluto is from Earth. I feel like I was definitely kicked out of the club. That ship has sailed. It hit me today and I found myself crying in the middle of a shopping center. I just felt so low today.

I've been trying to get my life together. Career wise. Sewing, graphics, digital downloads. Maybe today was what I needed. A kick in the behind. I just hope it's more that a sore spot now, and I actually get myself together. I'm having a hard time keeping my head above the water.

A couple of weeks ago a friend suggested we start the 30 day challenge.
We both felt sluggish, haven't actually moved ourselves in a while and needed some motivation. Bikini season is almost over and soon we'll be eating comfort food and listening to the glorious sound of rain coming down.
So we decided we'd each choose our own workouts, start the same day, sign in each evening and cheer each other on. 3 other friends joined in and we've been sharing stories between us. Each of us has had her hard day when she just didn't feel like it. But by midnight, everyone had checked in with their "I'm done!"
Now, I'm not sure how much this will actually help in getting fit, or anywhere really. But I am sure that doing these sit ups or planks won't do any harm.
I decided to add some Barre workouts as well, hoping to see some sort of difference by the end of our 30 days.
Having friends to lean on and cheer you on is so important when doing something like this.
A few years ago I was on the Candida diet. I lasted 4 months, but caved one afternoon after another co-worker joked and laughed at my "dull lunch". I'm not sure why I didn't just listen to my tummy and body which were more than happy being sugarless for that long, but having support is such a big factor.
We all decided that after these 30 days we'll be looking for something more serious to do together. One is in the middle of a Paleo diet and swears by it. Maybe I'll be able to go back to my sugarfree diet. The power of teamwork!

- Check out some amazing overnight oatmeal recipes. These are great for putting together and just grabing before you head out to work the next day.
My favorite is blueberries, chia seeds and some maple sugar. Simple and yummy.

- I just watch TV when I do my squats/pushups/whatever, but if I went to the gym I would totally have these songs on my playlist!

- I need this book.

- Signed up to be let known when this gorgeous mustard dress is back in stock.

- My 9 month old is teething and going on a hunger strike. I'll give these muffins try in a few days, hopefully they'll be a hit!