Life doesn't always go as planned.
For some people, things just magically always fall in plcae for them, for others, it's always an uphill struggle. Thankfully, I'm not there. Life for me is just sometimes... Trying.
It's not easy.
I've always struggled with my career, I'm not even sure I got into the arty world for the right reasons. I always wanted to be a psychiatrist. Something happened along the way and played around with my head, and I decided I wanted to direct video clips. Or at least a soundtrack editor. I think Pulp Fiction made that decision really easy for me to make.
But things happened, and I found myself sending out resumes to just any graphic designer job, hoping something would catch. I was ready to start from zero, because it was supposed to be temporary. Until I got my life together.
But it caught. And I was good at what I did. And I moved up. I found myself as a textile designer, product manager. And I loved what I was doing, but it became temporary, not because I wanted to. Life happens. People have other plans for you.
And then this job happened. And I am as far away from going back to textiles and designing as Pluto is from Earth. I feel like I was definitely kicked out of the club. That ship has sailed. It hit me today and I found myself crying in the middle of a shopping center. I just felt so low today.

I've been trying to get my life together. Career wise. Sewing, graphics, digital downloads. Maybe today was what I needed. A kick in the behind. I just hope it's more that a sore spot now, and I actually get myself together. I'm having a hard time keeping my head above the water.